How’s it like to live all by yourself, literally just oneself, alone?
It’s not easy, it’s like trying to be a Superman. You are the hero, you can’t have friends, although that’s certainly not the option for me. But my introvert and paradoxical nature pretty much price in for me. This is a place where I have zero association with, I’m only here because of job (or, career?). You see, sometimes I question myself, on the decisions I made. Why didn’t I made the other one instead? If you remember a line in Inception – “Don’t you want to take a leap of faith? Or become an old man, filled with regrets, waiting to die alone!”. Regrets can eat me up slowly. On a more freed up moment, I can practically do nothing, the feeling was like one in imprisonment. On some other busier times, I tend to take things too seriously, barely a space for breathing. Paradox. I don’t know. Maybe I’ve been up with some serious matter that can’t be resolved easily for some period of time now and certain workloads, under pressure from my own self. I even lost touch of finding ways to wind down myself. And now, I think my health is taking the toll on me, need to see the doc tomorrow. I’m really yearning to go home as quick as possible at the moment, and I’m gonna kick the ball as hard as I could when I’m on that field again.
Wish that I could cry, and fall upon my knees.