My most terrible day in my life is not today, it happened 7 days ago. To you who might be having your meal this instance, I would like to remind you about the nature of the content as it might be very gross, highly gross.
My family was planning to balik kampung. I suggested to drive instead of travelling by bus, simply because I don’t wanna end up in a road accident. I have more faith in myself than the daredevil bus driver. Too bad I wasn’t convincing enough so mom bought a few Transnasional bus tickets. The bus took off after noon. It seems that my concern over my safety was reduntant. I suddenly broke out in a cold sweat, DAMN! My stomach went whirling. I began a battle with shivers, chills and aches. From that moment on I know I need to poo, immediately. Even a DDD nurse will not help now. I applied some relief lotion, that didn’t help as well. Mom tried to teach me instant Qi Gong. I was stun, and the pain was killing me, I had no choice but try on every possible ways to ease away the whirling in my stomach. I need to go to the toilet, teacher! And the nearest rest point will be at Rawang, which is another 30KM away… I’d be dead by that time I arrive there. Everything has a limit, I can’t stand it anymore! I requested a stop at the roadside. I jumped off the bus, searched for a suitable spot, meanwhile stepped my foots into the mud, DAMN again! My white shoes turned golden brown. DAMN U – Kuala LUMPUR! I took a turn at a corner, pulled down my pant, oh! Before I managed to pull down my pant, it released. It just released, I can’t stop it… Resulting in a little portion of my rejection tinted onto my pant. Some marks of disgrace… Finally, just like a massive flush, it all came down to the earth. What a great sense of relief… I looked down, to my surprise, stuff that I ejected seems can’t be spotted. That’s because the colour of the grass and ground confused me. My poo is in GREEN! Actually, it’s not all green, you know, YELLOWISH GREEN, or perhaps GOLDISH GREEN… (I should’ve taken down the photo of it, now I remember) And it smelled… OOOLALA. When I reached my hand to clean up my royal arse, (very nasty) the tissue soaked almost right away with unrecognized… juice? It almost conclude my most terrible day in life. Another thing is, somehow, I pee on my pant. And that concluded the most terrible day in my life. If you are feeling adventurous and would like to uncover the badland where a pile of gold await explorer like you, grab a gas mask, park your wheels under the Batang Berjuntai exit signboard and the truth is out there. Don’t step into the mud.